I’m so over this.
Over what?
Over everything. Over anything.
It’s all over the top… Too Much; Extreme; Severe; Acute; Excessive…
In my life, being “over” is usually not a good thing, but a negative thing. Well, OK, an over negative thing.
And then, there’s my own personal OVER. He (has to be a he, just because)… yes, he, always seems to be hanging out just around the corner - right over there, ready to swoop in with a moment’s notice. He’s my all-time go to for any situation that makes me less than comfortable, and there are oh, so many of those.
His name is Overreact.
And there are all these loyal tagalong buddies that come with him:
Over stress, over think, overreach, overdo, overachieve, overextend, over work, over worry, over panic, over plan, over prepare, over practice…
Over rehearse with different modifications for different outcomes (create a slew of scenarios and play them on repeat).
No wonder I’m so weary, so often! (over exhausted).
This is obviously incredibly frustrating. I know that I do this, and I don’t want to fall back into this pattern. Praise God, I’ve made some progress so that it happens less. But it’s still a much bigger part of my life than I would like.
Oh, but there’s more. Here is what is worse:
Sometimes, when I do all this crazy detrimental over work, I’m slaving for a reason that so should not be a reason - something that in the big scheme of things is so very trivial. Minute really.
Yet, I fling open the door and let Mr. Overreact and his entourage stroll right on in and laugh and play hard while they gleefully trash my whole house. Again.
This is maddening and hard. Life is just like that sometimes. No matter what you do or don’t do.
But…
God is so… Good. Faithful. True. Loving. Just. Compassionate. Patient. Merciful. Holy. Gracious. Kind.
Here’s what I should never be over. Oh how I long to live as though I’m never, ever over this. I want to be continually overwhelmed, amazed, and in awe. I want to be constantly awakened to all these incredible truths that I know, and I want to be moved again and again by their gentle yet mighty power.
I want to be moved… to move. To shift away from all the negative “overs” in my life, and be overwhelmed by all I can grasp that He is.
Now when I think about all the “overs” I see how over can be over the top in a good way. Considering Him, His love, His grace, very different adjectives come to mind: Expulsive; Extravagant; Limitless; Infinite; Radical; Profuse.
And I realize, yet again, some level of how undeserving I am.
Grateful. And I want to be over grateful, and live in light of this.
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